“That’s sicc- double c” refers to something that is awesome or cool. Regular old s-i-c-k refers to illness. Not cool or awesome.
Welcome to day five. Day five of exhaustion, off and on fevers, cold sweats, diarrhea, the works. Not only does it suck to be sick, it sucks to be sick so far from my home. Every bone in my body wants to snuggle in next to my mommy, drifting in and out of sleep while watching one of our favorite movies. And I can’t. I’m two thousand five hundred eighty seven miles away. That makes it hard to snuggle or have chicken noodle soup or a bubble bath or my bed or my puppy or my sometimes annoying brothers or my mom. So on top of being sick in a third world country comes this wretched heart wrenching sadness that makes you want to cry until you get to see home in 103 days, 1 hour, 45 minutes and a never ending amount of seconds. Where And I feel isolated and lonely so that just adds to feeling sad. And part of me wants my snuggles, but I’m alone. So I’m sick and alone. Sick by myself. It sucks. And on top of those crap piles, there’s a team of 42 here from various countries and I can’t do anything!
These feel like the most unimportant things to write about, but if you’re going onto the mission field, prepare yourself- it’s not all rainbows and the voice of God. Sometimes you feel like you can’t hear Him at all. That’s hard. I know I came here because I heard Him but then He seemed to disappear. I know He’s there. I know He doesn’t leave or forsake me, but when He’s not telling me whether I should turn left or right, I feel like He’s gone. I know He’s still here, otherwise I would’ve already gone home. I couldn’t stand up without Him. But I don’t feel Him and that’s really hard. So prepare for that.
I’m gluten-free. Or I try to be. Sometimes a piece of cake or French bread is really enticing. I don’t have celiac, but I have an intolerance that causes tummy pains, loss of pigment and bumps on my skin. When I’m sick, my go to is always a piece of toast. I guess bland foods in general. But I don’t know where in the foreign land to find that. So what have I been eating for four days straight? Rice. Plain, white rice. Get used to that. Different food. Don’t get me wrong, I love food here, especially the fruit and veggies BUT I’m tired of rice. Plain, boring, white rice.
I guess that’s all my tired brain can think of. Hopefully my thoughts are coherent enough to comprehend.
ps. I’m really enjoying the iBook Rend Collective recently released called Campfire Stories. I highly recommend it. It’s also the photo for this piece and yeah, go and read about authentic & cool worship my pals.
Until later, peace out Girl Scout.