Is Valentine’s Day considered a holiday? I’m not sure but because my family has somewhat committed to making it a beautiful family day, I think I just hit my first holiday event and that’s hard to be away.
I fully endorse crying. I like to think I’m pretty badass and I cry on a very regular basis. But I hate crying in front of people [that I don’t trust]. I really prefer to just cry all by myself. And that’s hard when you’re facing a shitty day and missing people and then add the random [frustrating] mission field stuff that everyone has to deal with at points. Yeah. I’ve cried several times in bathrooms today, my preferred spot when I really can’t cry to myself. I also feel like I’m going to puke, who knows why. Today, right now, this doesn’t feel lovey. Isn’t Valentine’s Day supposed to be that? Well they don’t even celebrate it here, so it seems like I’m a catastrophe over nothing.
Conveniently, I have a movie date with my mommy tonight- that’s a thumbs up. And I got to make silly faces and repeat baby noises with a freshly showered, post-nap, happy little tiny. That was nice. But my eyes won’t stop leaking and today is hard.
I love Valentine’s Day. I made cookies last night and shared them with the profes at the foundation. They were elephant and heart shaped. So yeah, that’s today thus far; a big pile of sobby crapola. Off to soccer. Maybe sweating out this hard day will stop the tears. Fingers crossed.