Don’t be confused; this is so far outside of normal, but, I think I’m getting there. I think this week might have been my best one so far. I can’t recall myself crying. I don’t think I really hit one of those terribly bitter breaking points, you know, the one where I’m two seconds away from buying a ticket home on the spot. Yeah, didn’t hit that this week. Talk about feeling accomplished.
I believe I’ve previously stated that at the very current it kind of seems like I won’t be returning after May, but I’m not going to sign any dotted line, so don’t hold me to any of those statements. BUT one of the reasons I feel like I’m finally figuring things out is that (even though it’s still more than three months away) whenever me going home comes up, it pains my heart a teensie tiny bit. Don’t get me wrong, I so look forward to seeing my people in the states, but [even though I was in denial at first] there are humans here who are becoming my people. Why would I say I was in denial? Because for a while I didn’t want Colombia to become my home. I just recently started referring to my apartment as home/my home; admitting it to be my home or the people here to be my friends made me (at first) feel so far away from home in the states. It made everything more real than I was ready to accept. But I’m there now. Apartment 1605 is my home right now. And the people at the foundation are my family in this time. And my roommates are a part of my people. Yes, it makes it more real, but roots are important. I kept feeling as if I was living in a three year old’s favorite snow globe; every time things started to settle down, where my feet were maybe going to grace some solid ground, some chubby cheeked tiny took grimy hands and rejumbled my world. I wasn’t taking up roots. Here’s to growing up enough to decide to actually be here.
This isn’t to say it’s all smooth sailing from here; that would be a joke. But it is to say that I’m not grasping for good days anymore. I’m just going to live each day, picking up the good as I go. I know that eventually I’ll get to hold my momma’s hand again, punch my brothers, and hug my pals, so why the hell would I even consider not living something beautiful here, too? Sometimes I’m just a bit dense in the brain. Whoops. But I’m figuring it out, and I’m convinced that a lot of our growing comes from the “figuring it out part”.
So some highlights for you:
>> I’ve been here for fifty one days! Wowza, that’s wild. It’s funny, some days I feel like I’ve been here for just three weeks and other days I feel as if it’s been eight thousand days. Right now, we’re in the three weeks category. << It has rained the last three days; I delight in rain. >> Colombian hot chocolate. It sounds straight up crazy, but they put a chunk of mozzerella at the bottom and it’s a total wombo-combo. Delicious. << They say I’m getting better at soccer, I don’t think so but I’ll take the compliment. >> I teach English now. Why, because I speak English. We played head, shoulders, knees & toes and it was a riot. << I had a killer macchiato and cinnamon roll after wandering through the rain; the latte art was absolutely glorious, the coffee was so freaking smooth [thank you Colombia] and the cinnamon roll was scrumptious! Plus coffee & rain? Can I get a hallelujah? >> I took my camera to work and you won’t ever believe how stunning these tiny humans are, by golly gee! << I started a language explain; Jesus, bless me with Spanish please.
Those are some of the bestest pieces. I’m always in the midst of finding my wild. Thank you to those who are walking through these hills and valleys with me. Trusting Yahweh through the unknown isn’t the most delightful, but it proves to be fruitful, so I’m going for it. Glad I’m moving from torturous misery [I believe I’m exaggerating but who really knows] into something more. Bye for know, home-skillet-buiscuits. Have you caught on to my subtle love for odd but endearing nicknames?
The end, sweet peaches.