this is living.

I have fallen in love with Colombia all over again. And with that statement comes the “so how long are you going to stay?” question, to which I have zero answer. I’m ok with that. I’m focusing each day on that day itself; how can this day be the very most fulfilling, how can I finish this day on a high note. That’s something new I’ve learned, or am in the midst of learning- taking the moments of your day captive. Not letting one minuscule moment destroy everything. 

And right after I got over my “this sucks, but I’m existing” hump, I was plagued with God knows what. I actually ended up going to the doctor which proved to be not very helpful but I had some back up antibiotics and such and I’m starting to be close to one hundred percent better: praise God! It was last Tuesday that I went to the doctor, who essentially confirmed that there was indeed something wrong with my stomach, aland bough he had no answers on the what or the why. My adoptive Colombian mother set me up on some medications based on my symptoms and delivered me back to my home. Feeling frustrated with my body and a lack of answers I decided to go for a walk. I ended up hiking up to the cancha, where girls soccer practice was still comensing. I couldn’t play because my stomach was pumped full of some terrible purple concoction and still doing saumersaults but I did get to watch and practice passing the ball with one of the boys who showed up early [Carlos]. As soon as I got up to the cancha, this relief washed over me- I was surrounded by people who I know and love. I got hugs and kisses and questioned about what the doctor said, and it hit me. This was the first of three or four sickness that I haven’t balled my eyes out and wanted to go back to America. I did cry once or twice because of the pain, but my primary focus was getting better to be able to get back to my work and my people. I am so thankful for that. My roots are lacing deep into this ground and I am full of joy for that. To be connected. To be living here, fully focused on being here. Outside of family, I think I have more friends in Medellin than I did in America. It blows my mind how much of a 180° I’ve done but my heart is ecstatic to feel myself thriving here. 

I don’t know how long my time will be here, but I can never fully walk away from this country. In two months [holy crap] my feet will be on United States soil and my heart is excited and distraught at that thought, all in one. I left my family to come here, and to go back to that family I will have to leave this one I have around me here. I asked “how can you ever be home if your home is two places” and profoundly, a fifteen year old from the Texas team replied (ever so nonchalantly, might I add) “or you’re just home everywhere.” I think I’m going to take his point of view, I’d much rather always be home than never. And for those of you who don’t like me not having a plan, I have more words. The last time I was sick, I had the pleasure of wise counsel from my pastor-mentor-dude-guy, Jason. At the time I was still torn between returning to America and just “existing” here. And Jason so wisely said something along the lines of “Maggie, I pretty much guarantee that God isn’t going to tell you yes or no. This decision is on you. God delights in us making decisions, He likes to see what we’ll do.” Dang. I think it’s really easy to just wait for the answer, and waiting is good but I think we also forget that we can make choices. So I’m in the midst of choices. I want to be in Colombia. I want to continue to grow here and to love here and to be loved here. That’s where I’m at. 

God, I thank you for this body. I thank you that it knows when it needs help. I thank you for the people around me who walked in my “this is hard” all the way to my bursting heart of joy. I thank you for the roots you are giving me, the friends, the family, my people. You are so good, God! Thank you for allowing me to be here, Abba. For filling me and healing me and working in me. Thank you, thank you. My hands are open to you, my heart is ready for you. Continue to move and to work. Give me eyes for you Jesus, give me a love for you people! Thank you Abba! Amen.

I just want to shout about how great my God is! One of the hardest things is that even my words, even my pictures, my stories- they will never be able to fully capture the things going on in my head, my heart and my world right now, but I can’t wait to sit down and just gush about all this craziness that is being my unbelievable norm. I’m overly infatuated with my Jesus and what He is doing, and I’m ok with that. 
Going to throw in a random slew of photos, enjoy!

Fernanda; we like to make faces at each other in passing, in this case she flashed her dazzling little smile
why we chew on tables, I have no answers, but we look cute doing it
some of my English students
the face of defeat after missing the goal that would’ve given my team the W
pictures at Guatape, a giant rock
Coach Sebas took the time to hype the little tiny up pre-attempting a goal; like that scene from the movie Cool Run, “feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme, get on up its bobsled time!” but relating to soccer & in Spanish
water after practice & smiles
Manu; new friend featured on my Instagram. follow #newpersonscollective to meet my new humans
post practice devotionals

Until later homies! 

The end.

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