this is being here.

I was supposed to land in O’Hare last night around 9:30pm. When I landed in Miami, my Papa Tom suggested asking if there were any standby tickets for a sooner flight. I asked and the kind lady printed me out a ticket and told me the chances were slim. So I hurried through the airport to concourse H, got through security and ran barefoot to gate 14. Why running, why barefoot? Because they started boarding in five minutes and I didn’t want to risk missing the flight that I probably wouldn’t make anyways. Long story short, I ended up doing a crazy happy jump that scared the attendant at the gate who told me that they had found me a seat.

And then my Colombian phone number doesn’t function here and there was no wifi in O’Hare and my phone was on four percent, I thought I’d never find my sweet mama! I also wanted to look well put together, so I was wearing a not-good-for-trucking-through-airport outfit and my feet hurt and I was strapped with my carry on and camera bag, muttering profanity under my breath and then I heard a familiar voice say “there she is” and my long haired hippy Elliot was peeling around the corner of a doorway. My hurting feet didn’t matter anymore- I sprinted to the familiar faces of El, Nanu, Cydnie and my mama. I hugged that lady like someone who hasn’t seen their mom for five months because, well, I am someone who hadn’t seen their mom for five months. And then I embarrassed my mom by pulling my shirt up to my bra-line to proudly display my new tattoo! I had no shame, I was topless in the tattoo shop to get it and I’ve been harboring this secret for a whole freaking week.

Those next four waking hours were so lovely, just skipping back into the rhythm of my people. Getting to enjoy their presence. I prefer the Spanish word, disfrutar, which would be enjoy. For whatever reason is gives me this feeling of just soaking in this goodness of enjoyment. And now I get to be in church with my mommy and join our voices in praise.

“We have so much to praise God for.” Amen. God is so good. I am so grateful to get to be with my family. I’m so grateful to get to drive God in Colombia. God is mind blowing. He is so good to me. I can never praise Him enough for how great He is to me. He has carried me and walked with me. He has blessed me and poured himself over me. He has waited and does wait for me. He is so freaking amazing.

So today’s my mamas birthday. And I told you I got a tattoo. And because it’s her birthday and I love to brag about my ma, I’ll tell you what I got and why I got it.

This is how my mom signs all letters to me. I respond with “ily ily”. I have bajillions of letters from her, and while in Colombia every time we said goodbye via text, I got the “xxoo”. Every single night I got the text before bed. So that’s the meaning behind the actual tattoo, but one specific thing about me and tattoos is that I think out every single detail. I want to be able to tell stories through my tattoos. My tree tattoo has even gained meaning since I’ve put it on my body, and I assume this one will, too. But it’s not just the tattoo for my mom but also the placement. In fact, the placement is probably the very most important part and here is what it represents for me:

When Moses was in the midst of the battle, he noticed that they were only successful when his hands were raised to God. And I know that- my life is only right, only on path, only “winning” when I am submitted to God, when my hands are raised to Him who is Sovereign. But like Moses, we get tired. It gets hard. And like Moses I have an Aaron [sorry to Hurr, who is rarely referenced]. God blessed me with a mother who stands at my side and points me to God. She supports me in my chasing of Jesus, and occasionally keeps me in check. So I have my mom’s writing on my side- to honor and remember my mom, but to also honor and remember the goodness of of Abba Father, who is providing in my life constantly. Who is using people to hold me up. Who is stirring and pouring His love over me. You are so good Jesus! Thank you. And happy birthday mama.

So I’m here. Disfrutando, enjoying. And I have a plethora of stories and the greatness that God has been doing. The thing that he has changed. And if you want to hear them, you can continue to read as I reflect and write how I have grown and such. And if you want a little more, you can also reach out to me and I will try my very best to get together for coffee or a sandwich and share with you all that has gone down.